What do you do when the wheels come off your career wagon?
That’s a question that brings a lot of people to me. People who’ve expected their work – and lives – to go in a certain direction. To have just the same enthusiasm today as they always had yesterday.
But then something happens.
Someone close gets very ill – or they themselves do. A relationship hits the rocks or, conversely, an unexpected one is kindled – an affair, perhaps. Unexpected performance feedback hits them deeply. A business they’ve expected to do well fails. Their job disappears, or is restructured in an alien way.
Maybe their passion for what they once did ebbs away and they have to confront the gnawing reality that something about them is changing.
Whatever, there’s suddenly a crisis of meaning. Life no longer bobs along in the same knowable, predictable way. Work just doesn’t feel the same or they don’t feel the same in it.
If you recognise yourself in this, you’ll recognise too the struggle to reassert yourself. You strive to get your energy and focus back to where they were, and you notice how exhausting that is. Because there is no going back, only forward.
You search for answers outside yourself; words of wisdom to buoy you up or give you some structure. These may work for a while, but sooner or later you have to admit to yourself that they’re not the real deal.
The decision to trust yourself
The only solution that in my experience really works, is to look inside yourself for the direction you need to take now, and for the resources that will help you. There’s so much noise out there. So many gurus with The Answer that it’s difficult to trust that your own being knows more about you than they ever could. But that’s how it is.
Of course such discovery work is often best done with a guide; someone who knows this territory and can help you make sense of and give shape to your journey. But the starting point for it is always you, and the self-belief that you can get yourself out of whatever porridge you feel you’re currently wading through.
Trusting yourself starts with a clear decision. Sure, it sounds easy, and does hard. But once you’ve made that decision you’ll be amazed at how your own and other people’s energy mobilise to take you forward differently. You need to be ready to pay attention to all of the subtle as well as obvious ways that will happen. The longer you hesitate, the longer you stagnate.
So, what about you? What’s stopping you in your tracks right now? How would trusting yourself help you move forward? What are you waiting for?
photo credit: ganesha.isis
Twitter: kruby
says:
Oh, wow, Christine, this is exactly what I have been feeling lately with my job and career. I’m wondering if it’s worth all the exhaustive energy that I’m using just to keep things that I worked so hard and long for, or whether it’s all been worth it?
“A crisis of meaning” —> exactly that sentiment.
Thanks for putting into words what I’ve been going through lately. I think that I just have to have faith and trust in myself (and abilities). It’s amazing how much self-worth we have tied to our jobs.
Karen
Karen´s last [type] ..Something To Think About – Self-Reliance
Thanks, Karen. Happy this resonated with you.
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been feeling less than great about work. It is indeed amazing how much self-worth we have tied into it. But I think too that there’s a whole ra-ra thing out there about us always needing to be clear and focused. There’s not much understanding of how we might sometimes feel less than clear. How those times, far from being *problems* are pretty natural and normal in the grand scheme of things, and offer us opportunities for new aspects of ourselves to emerge if we’ll let them.
Sometimes I find that if, instead of fighting against a crappy feeling, you listen to it and try to understand and incorporate positively what it has to say, you’ll discover something interesting and new. As you say, Karen, have faith and trust yourself!
Good to see you here
Great post, you really summed up my current feelings regarding work at the moment. I have been ignoring my growing dread about work for nearly a year and only now pending my return after maternity leave am i now sure that i need to assess what I want from my work place and my career and how it will fit into making my life the best and happiest it can be.
Thanks for the inspiration.
TinyBean
Thanks, Sara.
It seems that your maternity leave has kicked off a whole re-evaluation process for you. Having just read your recent post, it seems this is in more ways than one! I totally salute you taking back some of the power for what happens to you, and assessing what you want and need from work and your work place now. I think it can only help you be a stronger, happier, more determined (HR?!) person. Go girl!