I was already mulling over the idea of treating you to a more personal post for the August Bank Holiday weekend. But it was my friend Eleanor who gave me the call to action. Writing about how to earn a crust doing what you love, and picking up on a frivolous comment I’d left about my weekend chocolate cake hobby, she wrote:
That stuff that you love doing? The stuff that makes you smile? Can you do more of it and still get paid? This might seem like a really stupid question, especially if the thing you love doing is something like Christine’s eating chocolate cake. How can Christine get paid for eating cake?
My first reaction to El’s challenge was to say, “don’t be ridiculous, eating chocolate cake is my Saturday treat, and what has it got to do with making money?”
But, since I like both chocolate cake and making money, and I’m always up for learning things about myself, even in completely wacky ways, I thought I’d stick with the question and see where it took me.
I don’t actually need much of an excuse to spend time in my local coffee shop but I thought a chocolate cake fieldtrip was called for, so off I headed this morning in search of whatever magic I could find.
Sure enough it came in the form of childhood memories.
It’s probably no surprise to know I loved chocolate anything as a child. My mum was a terrific baker and I ate pretty much everything she produced. Often before it actually made it to the oven.
These were terrific days. When I wasn’t eating, and sometimes even when I was, I was often holed up behind the sofa with pens, papers, crayons, paints, gripped by my creative project of the moment. See, I had the biggest fun as a kid writing stories, and doing all the illustrations for them. Sometimes the stories were serious; sometimes they were satirical and witty. Whatever, I just loved putting stuff together that people would both read and be affected by.
I should have been a writer. That was after all my dream. The child in me had visions of living in a beautiful old cottage, with my dream husband, and a brood of cute kids. When I wasn’t keeping house and feeding my family chocolate cake, I’d be producing block buster books. Stuff that seemed light and frothy on the surface, but captured people’s hearts and so made a difference to their lives.
My father’s death more than took the edge off of things.
But the killer blow was delivered by my guidance teacher who simply sneered as she met with me and my mother to decide what subjects I do for exams.
“Nobody makes money from anything arty in Glasgow, Christine” she said. “You need to focus your efforts on academic subjects and think about a commercial career instead.”
With my dad gone, and us living off my mum’s widow’s pension, what I heard that night, whether it was implied or not, was that I couldn’t do things I loved and make money from them. That I needed to stop thinking like a child and grow up.
I’d always thought that the creative kid had died at that point. But looking back I see that’s not true. What happened was she just got clever and did what she had to do to survive. She took her story in a different direction, and created a new leading role for herself: the business woman. And she played it impeccably. It was what got her through school subjects in which she had no interest; pushed her to do things that felt incongruous; and propelled her to levels she would not otherwise have chosen.
Neither of my parents were around to see me become an HR Director, or to launch my own business. If they had, they’d have been beyond proud. Such achievement was beyond their wildest dreams. So, the career girl certainly did good.
And, make no mistake: it was a part in which I came to feel very at home. It gave me lots of fun challenges, allowed me to meet lots of wonderful people, and enabled me to do lots of international traveling.
But it wasn’t sustainable in the long term.
Curiously when the persona began to crack, and I needed to find out who I was beyond it, how I was going to live and work without it, I intuitively turned to writing as a form of therapy. It allowed me to express myself in ways I may otherwise have not. It was through writing that I could articulate my passion for coaching and counseling, the things I’ve focused on in the last years, that I completely adore and that pay my way in life. But having retrieved the artist in me, I’m not letting her go.
My best writing has always been done in coffee shops, and often with some form of cake or other. Perhaps it’s just the caffeine and sugar buzz. Perhaps too there’s something of the warmth and busyness I find there that invokes happy memories of my family living room and stimulates my creativity.
And, sure, I’m not making money from eating chocolate cake.
But, I am marketing my business almost exclusively through my writing now.
Here’s the big, circle-completing part of the picture, and I only just saw it this way myself. So much of the work I do with clients is about story. When they come to me, although they never use this language, it’s because something of their story doesn’t fit, or is difficult to deal with. They’ve lost their way in the plot. An old script needs to change. A new storyboard needs creating. Partnering with others as they share their own cliff-hangers, romances and heartaches is privileged creative work indeed. Can you imagine what it feels like to work with someone who becomes truly gripped by your story; who can hold all the sub plots together; who can help you emerge from your own self-created mask and carry your true self forward in life?
Now that I’ve had this massive insight about story, will I do more with it? Will I write more? Will I start producing block busters?
You’ll just have to wait for the next chapter! But meantime I’d love to know in what direction you’d take this story next.
This is really great Christine and I really appreciate you sharing yourself with us. It’s funny what happens when we let ourselves think outside the box about a situation and join the dots in a different way.
Jen
Thank you, Jen. I so appreciate your having read this and enjoying it.
So much self development is rational, and so much is magical. It is important to allow ourselves both possibilities, I think. Have a lovely weekend!
Twitter: JulieWalraven
says:
I love this, Christine! As Jen said, you sharing so much personal here is wonderful. I can also see the wheels turning and you thinking about where this will take you next. We are so different and yet so alike. The goal of wanting to reach that point where we are doing what we love, creating the income we need for our needs, and touching the people whose lives intersect with ours through our work.
I’m just smiling right now and I can’t wait until we speak again! I’ve definitely been blessed getting to know you!
.-= Julie Walraven | Resume Services´s last blog ..Somebody to lean on =-.
Thank you Julie. It means so much to me that this has touched you too.
It’s fabulous to have such a heart-felt connection with you!
Twitter: HeavenandEl
says:
I love this Christine. You know from previous comments and conversations we’ve had that I was longing to read more stuff that could only have been written by you. You nailed it with this one. Delighted my passing comment could result in such a wonderful, heart-filled post.
Have an awesome weekend,
El x
.-= El´s last blog ..A gorgeous cuddle to lead you into the weekend =-.
Thanks so much, El, and thanks for having the guts to tell me you’d like to see more of me in my writing. You certainly got it here!
Have a fab weekend yourself!
Wow…
What a story, it really takes some time for me to digest it all (pardon the pun), it really takes my breath away as I read it.
It’s fascinating how you have understood your real Self and how you weave the threads of your life together in order to stand in your own wholeness now. It’s pretty amazing how all things can collide at once, past, present and future.
I guess it makes me wonder, what parts of me have I left behind due to circumstances at the time and how can I re-engage with these very powerful, creative and transformational talents and ways of being…
I’m off to have an ice tea and something tasty and sweet to ponder.
Have a great weekend
T
x
Thank you, Tim. I love what you say here.
I know that you and I have had on and offline conversations about the intersection of past, present and future. I truly feel from my own experience, and indeed from my work with others, that we can feel most powerful and most resourced when connect broken off bits of ourselves and bring them wholly into our being. It’s not always quickly clear what that will end up looking or feeling like. But the first step is allowing it.
Enjoy your iced tea and whatever tasty takes your fancy. I’d love to hear where that takes you!
Twitter: CoachScotland
says:
Hi Christine
What was it about Glaswegian school teachers. They were so down to hearth and able to squash a dream at an early stage.
I didn’t discover how much creativity meant to me until the last 10 years. First it was in the garden – moving plants in the same way other people move furniture and now also in writing.
How about writing a book – 50 Amazing Chocolate Cake recipes. That way the eating would be research and tax deductible!
.-= Marion Anderson´s last blog ..How to Forgive – What you need to know about forgiveness =-.
What was it about Glaswegian school teachers indeed? Looking back I see that the particular one who squashed my dreams was herself an artist who’d never believed enough in her art and took on a teaching role because “that was what you do”. She was just transferring her limiting beliefs, as truth, to me. At least I’ve been able to see it that was and cast if off.
I’m glad to hear that you too have found your creativity. It’s so life-changing, isn’t it?
And I LOVE the recipe book idea, but I suspect it’d never get written as it’d never get past the research phase – LOL!!!
Maybe you are making money from Chocolate cake if it fuels you for a week of creative, writing and coaching.
Just a thought?
.-= Ben´s last blog ..How to understand others – without saying a word =-.
That’s a pretty cool slant on it, Ben! I definitely see it as a major reward for achieving another week’s goals, and it certainly sets me up well for the week ahead…
Yeah, I like that!
hi christine,
how are you?
i loved reading the article and to answer the question ‘will you start producing block busters?’you’ve got the potential to do so; so a thunderous YESS!!!!
Take care and have a lovely weekend
Thank you so much, Ayo. I’m very well, thanks – and you?
I’m so glad you enjoyed that article. Thanks for the wonderful endorsement. I think it’s time to dust down those half written novels…!!
Hope you’re having a good Bank Holiday weekend.
Twitter: ali_davies
says:
How about this Christine – what about writing a block buster book about chocolate cake in different coffee shops around the world. It could become the ultimate travel guide for chocoholics who want to get a good quality fix while they are on their travels. It would be a smash hit! What say you?
But seriously, writing and stories (especially when they are personal and heartfelt) have a really powerful way of touching people. Good luck as you continue to create your own story.
.-= Ali Davies´s last blog ..Is it Time to Disconnect =-.
LOL!! Brilliant idea, Ali. I think it could be a block buster!
Story does have a wonderful way of touching us. I’m hoping I can weave more of it into my work one way or another.
Christine
Truly inspirational! Obviously the chocolate cake reference drew me in but then it is amazing to share in your powers to self-reflect, understand your very being and be brave enough to take action to gain alignment. I need to understand what my chocolate cake is……….
Louise
Thank you so much, Louise. You cannot imagine how much your comment means to me.
And, here’s to finding your chocolate cake…..!
Twitter: adrianswinscoe
says:
Hi Christine,
This is a fantastic story and real insight.
You asked a question at the end about where you could take this next…..how about working with people to actually help them write their own stories as part of the coaching process. It could make a much more meaningful, real and collaborative process.
Adrian
.-= Adrian Swinscoe´s last blog ..Social media is not free =-.
Thanks, Adrian. Adding story telling to coaching could indeed be a really valuable addition to what I hope is already a meaningful process.
Appreciate the idea!
Twitter: MarieAtAlki
says:
I discovered your website only recently and have been very much enjoying your posts. This one is probably my favorite. In recent years, it has become a sort of “hobby” of mine to observe the stories I tell about myself and how things “show up” in my life to match the stories. I also listen to my friends’ stories and observe their results. It is amazing how we live out of the stories we tell! I’m seeing the value of choosing the best stories possible. Thank you for your insights. (Now I’m hungry for a piece of chocolate cake.)
.-= Marie McKinsey´s last blog ..A Different Perspective =-.
Welcome, Marie, it’s good to have you here!
I’m happy to hear you enjoyed this post. Having been an intuitive story teller, watcher and maker all my life, discovering the power of story has been a revelation to me. As you say, watching the stories we tell ourselves and how things show up that match is fascinating. It’s also interesting to watch what happens when what happens doesn’t match our stories. Either way, there are some fabulous opportunities for learning. And, of course, realizing that we can choose our story is immense!
Hope you enjoy your chocolate cake – just looking at the picture on the post this last week has been tempting my taste buds