We all use the term “work life balance” to talk about a major challenging phenomenon. But are you thinking about it in the same way as me?
Corporate Concept
The term emerged in the 1990s, coined by corporations responding to the challenge of increasing workplace stress on the one hand, and greater social need on the other. “Talent”, as they label the smart folks whose skills keep the company productive, were looking not just to have careers, but to be able to be parents and carers too. Heck, some of that “talent” even wanted to spend some of their lives completely away from work.
And so benefits like flexible working arrangements, childcare, and sabbaticals became more prevalent, alongside in-house initiatives like gyms and stress management training.
These undoubtedly help make a lot of people’s lives better. But it’s important as an individual to know that whether they help you or not, their primary motive is not your welfare, but the protection of the bottom line.
Work vs Life
Implicit in the corporate concept is that work and life are different and separate. Worse, they stand against one another as two values – the only two values – competing for your time and energy.
If you find yourself going a little crazy juggling your workload with all you have to do outside, there’s no concept that the picture could be wrong. Or that things within it could need a fundamental rethink. Including how liveable your job actually is.
It all boils down to these two simple, logical and therefore hypothetically manageable parts: work and life.
Your Whole Life
Coaching and writing for people around work life balance, I have a different picture. Because my interest is in you, I want to work with and talk to all of who you are.
Of course work is a key part of your life and of helping give a sense of identity. But it needs to be seen as an integral part of you. Just as your family, friends, special relationship, sports and hobbies, and spirituality are not things you should leave at the office reception desk.
What Do You Need?
My intention in writing this is not to make you more cynical of corporations. They are important in the whole, bigger work life picture.
What I am suggesting is that you don’t get sucked into framing something in a way that doesn’t jive with your nature.
Take your power back. Ask yourself what’s important from the perspective of your whole life. Can your company’s work life balance ethos and programs support you? If they can, brilliant. Either way, simply avoid being cast in a mould that is not of your making.
Twitter: JulieWalraven
says:
Thought-provoking, Christine. You always are. We really do need to reinvent so much… for so many different reasons.
.-= Julie Walraven | Resume Services´s last blog ..What’s on my heart =-.
Thanks, Julie. You’re absolutely right – there’s such opportunity for reinvention in so many ways right now!
Appreciate you being here, my friend.
Interesting perspective. The headline caught my eye and I anticipated a different slant. My take – Work -Life Balance as a phrase has been used to broadcast work less and pursue personal life and passions more in order to ” find balance”. I find this a bit amusing. Have passion for everything you do both at work and in your personal life. Set your own balance parameters. But don’t kid yourself that more of one and less of another is good on either side of the scale. And more importantly don’t feel guilty about what you are passionate about whether it be work or outside interests. Be passionate about both or find something you are passionate about on the work side. The side that you are most passionate about will reveal itself anyway when all is said and done. There is no right “balance” with passion.
Great comment, Dan, and thanks for leaving it. I’m curious about the slant you anticipated…?!
Meantime, I love your use of passion as a barometer of what’s really important in life. Spot on!
Twitter: CubeRules
says:
My favorite rant. There is no work life balance, only the choices we make with our life.
Sometimes, that is a lot of something and other times it is a lot of something else.
But is all our CHOICE. There is no balance, only our life and what we choose to do with it.
.-= Scot Herrick´s last blog ..5 reasons to love cover letters when you really hate them =-.
Ah, Scot. Choice. I love it. It’s one of the things I bang on about so much in my coaching work. SO appropriate to this conversation!
Scot I could not agree with you more about CHOICE. The feeling that I have is that people give that away or ignore it/hide from it.
Christine – completely agree with the positioning of benefits as just another approach to the bottom line in some corporations. I used to speak with my lawyer friends at magic circle firms and they would tell me all about the toys (blackberries/netbooks/mobiles), free taxi service, one of them even has bedrooms in the building so they can do all nighters more comfortably !!! I generally saw these things as ways to just encourage longer working hours as opposed to being helpful tools to increase a sense of balance.
Yup, Tim, Scot’s bang on the money on the subject of choice….
What you say here separately about benefits is super insightful. I can only endorse your observations!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/hardtalk/8944340.stm
Just watching this video of Andre Agassi and he talks about taking ownership and how people do things that they don’t like but they make the choice. Thought I just had to post it…
I really enjoyed this, Tim. This is so powerful. And thanks so much for sharing! Off to tweet it now. I’ll credit you, of course
Well said as always Christine. I like the idea of creating you own mould if need be.
Yeah, that’s a cool way to think about it, Jen, isn’t it? When the whole work/life either/or equation doesn’t work for you, create a way of framing things yourself that does.
Well said. I used to hang around the corporate work life crowd and I somehow felt they were trying to sell a bill of goods that even they didn’t believe in. You’re correct. Each individual must decide what he or she wants and go for that. Balance is indeed a myth that just puts more attention on what’s missing. I’d rather practice work life gratitude.
.-= Tom Volkar / Delightful Work´s last blog ..The Curse of Too Much Time Off =-.
Hey Tom, great to have you here.
There are a few unique voices in the corporate work life crowd who dare to say something different. The rest, in my opinion, look like they add something, but actually help keep the status quo in place.
I love your idea of practicing work life gratitude.
Christine – the title could stand alone as a touchstone for many of us. I spent 6 years working for a global consulting firm and the habits of that time are hard to break, over a decade later.
I have to keep reminding myself that the choices are all mine now. That sometimes means I work every day for a month, and other times it means I get to finish at 2pm every day.
I like the comments here about passion, too – if we stop thinking in “shoulds”, it’s amazing how much lighter our lives can become. Instead of sayinig ‘oh, I’ve got to do xyz today…’ I wonder what would happen if we said “I GET to do xyz today!”. Only one letter difference but what a change that can make!
Enjoyed this post!
Thanks for your comment, Jill. It’s good to hear your voice here!
I really like that little tweak you offer us in changing our thinking from “I’ve got to…” to “I get to…” That’s very powerful and thanks so much for sharing it!
I think that too many people use work as an excuse. They say they need to work and thus can’t be home earlier etc.
The thing that people don’t understand is that you should do what makes you happy:
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
Albert Schweitzer
Many people turn this the other way around and think that success will ultimately make them happy. But it won’t.
.-= Julius´s last blog ..The Perfect WordPress Theme for Affiliates =-.
These are wise words, Julius, and thanks for sharing them. I completely agree that people use work as an excuse. It can all be so forward looking. When I’m happy/rich/successful/whatever, then I will be happy/leave work early/do exercise/see my kids more/whatever. What if we dropped the conditions and enjoyed life now?
Take back your power! Brilliant!
I think too many people get sucked, as you say, in the company lifestyle which dictates the majority of their home life.
But as my good lady wife always says, work don’t pay you in the evenings or weekends!
.-= Ben´s last blog ..How to understand others – without saying a word =-.
That’s a good way to express it, Ben: “people get sucked into the company lifestyle which dictates the majority of their home life”.
And your good lady wife is right: work doesn’t pay your for evenings and weekends. Amazing, though, how often it implicitly expects you give of yourself, without consideration of those consequences.
Blimey Christine. Don’t tell her that. I’ll never hear the end of it lol
Twitter: gregbd
says:
Not sure if work life balance is a hoax or a myth. I think there is a part of us that want “life balance”. The problem is with the term itself. When something is balanced it is stable and not moving.
Our lives are always in a state of flux and change. I think knowing how to create a sense of “equilibrium”. It’s getting clear about what we want then applying the skills and power tools that will help us achieve equilibrium.
At least thats been my experience.
.-= Greg Balanko-Dickson´s last blog ..This is a test =-.