My most favourite nephew in the world is staying with me this week from Glasgow. He also happens to be my only nephew in the world, but that makes him more, not less special. Suffice to say, we’ve been having a lot of fun.
As I wrote elsewhere, James has the smartest way of looking at the world of anybody I know. I’ve been paying attention to the things that define him in the hope I can learn a thing or two.
Excitement
The term “zest for life” sounds like a cliché around this wee guy. He whoops and whirls and has this take-your-breath-away enthusiasm for things that’s just so compelling. We’ll be chilling in the garden, or walking along our little countryside pathways, when he’ll spot something. A kite flying directly overhead. A rabbit darting into a hedge. The wild ponies on the hill. His entire being lights up as he sees it and stops in his tracks mesmerised.
His sense of wonder in things is so refreshing.
And it makes me consider how much we take for granted in our adult world. How retrieving a sense of awe would feed the child in us.
Fun
My living room currently resembles an art studio. I’ve got quirky hand drawn posters of my village in one corner and a cast of toys lined up in another. My iPhone, Mac and music library have been commandeered for video making purposes. Not kidding, but this child is teaching me how to use iMovie
He squeals out loud when he finds something funny. There’s no self-judgement or monitoring.
And he causes me to think about how much – or, indeed, how little – we allow ourselves to unreservedly indulge our playfulness. How we sometimes just need to relax and allow a belly-laugh to knock something crazy into shape.
Spontaneity
Can’t do something we imagined we might? No problem for James, there’s always some other exciting possibility of where to direct his attention. Can’t do that walking route you’d mapped out because it’s raining? Let’s make another video, or even go into town and watch Toy Story 3.
“Holidays are for chilling,” he told me the other day as I was obviously getting a little too structured in my planning of things to do. So I backed off and let him chill.
His approach made me reflect on how often, when things don’t work out as we imagined, we get caught up in our disappointment, instead of putting our attention where things can work out for us.
“Are you having fun?” I asked him today.
“Yes,” he said.
“More so than when you’re at school?” I asked. Perhaps I was looking for admiration. Perhaps putting onto him my expectations that school would be boring, holidays not. Whatever, his reply surprised me.
“No,” he said. Huh.
“So, you like school and holidays equally?” I said.
“Yes,” he said.
“You’re pretty happy with life in general, whatever you’re doing?” I said.
“Uh-huh.”
“What is it about life that you so enjoy, then?” I said.
He gave this question some serious thought. A flash of inspiration suddenly caught his face.
“Basically, I enjoy anything you can get yourself stuck into,” he said, smiling widely.
Flippin’ ten year old wisdom. You’ve got to love it!
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Twitter: eduardezeanu
Hey Christine,
One thing I’ve learned by looking though the eyes of a child is how much of our problems our mostly in our heads. A child doesn’t have more fun just because ‘he has no big responsibilities like an adult does’, but because he knows how to enjoy the moment and not blow responsibility out of proportion.
Eduard @ People Skills Decoded´s last blog ..Why family pressure is heavy pressure and how to lighten the load
That’s a pretty cool observation, Eduard. Just the other day something bizarre happened to me and for a moment I got caught up in both feeling angry and disappointed about it. Moments later, I watched James laugh off something that he thought was crazy. I really noticed how he wasn’t ducking what was true for him, but he was easily shrugging of the stupidness of the thing that came in his direction. I decided to follow his lead!
This is sooo great Christine! Kids really do have it sussed don’t they?
Thanks for sharing James wisdom here – really inspiring and a great reminder to enjoy each moment!
Jen
I think that’s James’ real gift – his ability to enjoy each moment no matter what he’s doing. So much to learn from kids who, to use his words, just get stuck into stuff!
Twitter: HeavenandEl
I loved the quantifier in your opening paragraph about James being your only nephew. Sounds like the two of you are having a lot of fun. And I couldn’t agree more, there is heaps we can learn from children. Right now, mine are learning the art of negotiation as they battle over whose turn it is. I’m hoping it’s a lesson they’ll pass on to me when they’re done with it.
Seriously though, great reminders and timely advice in here. Thanks Christine

Eleanor Edwards´s last blog ..How to reverse the signs of aging- free and renewable daily
Thanks, Eleanor. We’re having a lot of fun. I can imagine the fun going on in your house as your children learn to take turns. Even being the centre of the universe has to be shared sometimes
Good of you to read this!
Twitter: janecwoods
Lovely post, Christine. We don’t really grow out of playing, just get more self conscious about it, I think.
When my kids were wee I ran a playgroup and actually use many of same techniques when training now. It really helps people free up their ideas and creativity, once we get over the hurdle of embarrassment!
He looks like a great kid-bet he loves being on your blog! Have fun together!
You can only imagine, Jane, how excited he is to be on the blog! In fact the whole post emerged as I sat in Costa with him yesterday afternoon and asked him to help me brainstorm a post. With his dad’s shades on, he’s a cool boy!
Good idea to use fun and games with your training courses. I can really see that that frees up people’s creativity and allows some of the initial barriers to come down.
Twitter: JulieWalraven
Love this post, Christine! And I am so happy you are appreciating this young man. They grow up so quickly and what a joy he must be to have around and whether he admits it or not, what a joy you must be to be around.
Julie Walraven | Resume Services´s last blog ..Where do you recharge
Thank you, Julie. Because he lives so far away from me, I don’t see him as often as I’d like, but I cherish the times we do spend together. We have a very close bond, and I’m very aware that he’s soon going to be a young teenager whose life will take its own direction. Amazing just how quickly the time has flown by since he was a baby.
Twitter: lightndayphoto
This was so refreshing to read. I was homeschooling my lad when he was 10, and he taught me so much with his little wisdoms, and by the questions that us adults are too ‘knowing’ to ask. My kids are at the age now where they are beginning to worry, and not live in the moment any more. So sad, especially as I’m finding myself going the other way!
How funny, Maz!
Still, I’m glad you found the post refreshing. Kids have such wisdom and I’m so happy you were able to learn from your boy in the way you describe.
Thanks for being here and sharing.
Christine,
I love James’ last line there, “I enjoy anything I can get myself stuck into,” that is really brilliant. I like it. It’s a great description of being present, and focusing on the things we like and love to do, which is where we bring the most value. I’m starting to allow myself more and more freedom to just do what feels right and natural, the next right thing, and let go of the self-judgment. It’s feeling better and better! Thanks for sharing your nephew with us.
Best,
Linda
Hi Linda,
Isn’t that line awesome!! When he said it, I sat there and thought, “the Positive Psychologists and all us personal development people have a language for explaining what you’re talking about here, but actually I prefer your explanation”.
I’m delighted that you’re allowing yourself more and more freedom, and letting go of self-judgement. Glad it’s feeling SO good for you too.
Yeah, and I love how he is using a term that can be just the opposite – there are lots of definitions for the word “stuck.”
Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene)´s last blog ..Insanely Serene Takes the 7-Links Challenge
Absolutely, Linda! What a great observation.
hello christine,
how are you?
it appears jame’s a charming young man with bags of knowledge and fun.
it’s also great to know he can adapt or adjust to different situations and circumstances.
thanks for sharing this .
enjoy the rest of tthe day
ayo´s last blog ..Why The Journey IS The Destination
Thanks, Ayo. Appreciate your comment. James is indeed charming, and I love his adaptability. Have a great day yourself!
Ah doesn’t the optimistic outlook of children make you sick? lol! Damn kids and their fun and spontaneity. Wait till society drums the life and passion out of them!!!!
Why do we do that as a society though? Shame really. Being a kid is great fun. Which is why I still am one!
Lovely post Christine
Ben´s last blog ..2 simple fears that stop your success
LOLOL!! That’s the best way to be, Ben. I think it’s the child in us that holds the magic. Why lose that?
Glad you enjoyed the post.
Hi Christine,
I was wondering if and when James might make an appearance. Am glad to hear that you two are having a great time. I always remember Colin in my coach training reminding me to never lose my inner child, how powerful, resourceful and creative that place/part of us is. Really makes me realise how oppressive and restrictive some ‘adult’ environments can be.
Have fun !
…And, as if by magic, here he is
Isn’t he a cutie?
Colin is wise indeed – he gave you good advice there and you’ve remembered it! The Child is incredibly resourceful. It’s good to know from your previous comments that you’ve been allowing that part of you some air space in your life recently, with good results!
Fun to you too!