I was pretty excited as I sat down at the Mac to write this, the second in an emerging series, creating The Manifesto For New Work Pioneers.
Why?
Because I’d decided to start by talking about what’s at the heart of my companion journeyfolks’ decision to break through old career rules.
Yes, they want more control over their lives.
Yes, they want to do more of what they love, inside and outside of work, more on their terms.
And, yes they want to create the kind of lifestyle of which their friends can be quietly envious.
But that’s not really, really what prompts them to take courage in both hands. No, the real driver is something deeper again. Yet something simpler too. It’s the wish to have not just a professionally successful career, but also to have a well-lived life.
They want to thrive and flourish, not just to survive.
In short, they want to give themselves the pleasure of being wholly alive.
A range of positive emotions distinguish the life experience they’re insistent on enabling:
Joy
They want to be have the presence of mind to be truly nurtured by what Tara Sophia Mohr called life’s move-you-to-tears moments. The just-bathed smell of a newborn; the cute silliness of lambs in spring; the vivid beauty of ocean fish swimming through coral; the touch of a lover’s skin, the bliss of carefree belly-laughter.
Interest
They want to have the energy to connect with other people and things in an involved and meaningful way. They want to feel engaged when their child insists on reading them the next chapter of Flesh of The Zombie; they want to be able to listen as a partner unpacks his day; they want to have the openness of mind when a colleague asks for input on a new business idea.
Contentment
They strive to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. They want to see the good in the present moment and beyond. They long to feel at ease in themselves and in the world. To hang out in a coffee shop on a rainy Tuesday and look with open eyes at how life goes on beyond work.
Gratitude
They want to recognise the value of things in their lives. They want to take time to appreciate and thank. To be able to say what is good. The colleague going the extra mile to get a report done. The bashed up, delicious cookies your kid made for you at school. The ongoing background presence of someone in your life you’d be lost without.
Love
They want to give love and they want to be loved back. They want to emotionally extend themselves to others for their own and for their close others’ benefit. They want to be awake to that burst-your-heart feeling that comes from the oneness of having someone special.
So much of the norm of human existence is focused on life’s darkness: fear, despair, anger, frustration. There’s a whole Western Cultural script running. “Don’t feel joy,” it says.
New Work Pioneers turn this on its head and live life through a positive lens. They’re no Pollyannas and they are not inauthentically confident and joyful. But they do adopt two fundamental practices that keep their emotional scales tipping in the right direction.
Mindfulness
They bring awareness to their everyday thoughts and interactions. They watch for when their first reaction is to go to a positive place, and when it is to respond negatively. They realise they have some choice over the balance of good and bad. On the whole, they choose good.
Permission
Hand in hand, they give themselves permission to do the kind of things that are the essence of life. They allow themselves to play, and in the process build their ability to experience joy.
They take the time to get off their own case long enough to explore other things and other people. Hence they whet their curiosity and build their sense of interest.
They allow themselves to savour things, using all of their senses. In the process, they build their contentment muscle.
Good news
As it turns out, this isn’t just fluffy, coaching talk. Psychologists have shown that people who live more of the positive emotions are more successful in life.
Fear and negativity close us down. Hope and positivity open us up and allow us to see things in a completely different way.
Which is terrific news for New Work Pioneers. Allowing themselves to have what they search for feeds and strengthens them. And so a virtuous cycle is created.
So, manifesto readers, what do you think? Have I captured the deep down reasons we all do it? What would you would add? What else needs to be said and recognised that’s missing here?
And, for you personally, what experiences can you share that capture the essence of why you are on the path of creating a different kind of work?
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Twitter: eduardezeanu
I guess in the end, it really is all bout emotions. Generating a wide range powerful positive feelings in ourselves and others. That’s a cool way to look at career and life.
Eduard @ People Skills Decoded´s last blog ..Why attitude, not aptitude, determines your altitude
Thanks, Eduard. Glad you see it that way!
Twitter: adrianswinscoe
Hi Christine,
I liked your post and I would like to add that some training and work that I have done in the emotional intelligence area has shown that Optimism (not the polyanna type as you say) is one of the defining characteristics of successful leaders. It’s also more fun to be this way, don’t you think?
Adrian
Adrian Swinscoe´s last blog ..Customer Retention: Add value by introducing your customer to another customer
That’s really interesting, Adrian. I haven’t done much work or reading in the emotional intelligence field, so it’s fascinating to find that it shows Optimism as a defining leadership characteristic.
For what it’s worth, when I find myself in more of a negative place, life can feel a bit 2-D, but getting back to optimism brings a depth of dimension and colour to life that just allows you to see things in a completely different way. And it IS so much more fun!!
Twitter: adrianswinscoe
Cool! Glad you liked the comment. If you want more info on EQ and the stuff I was referring to then just let me know.
Adrian
Adrian Swinscoe´s last blog ..If you extended it by one what would that mean to you?
I would like to know more and I guess so might others reading this? If you have some links that would be useful, feel free to post share them. I’ll watch my spam folder!!
Twitter: adrianswinscoe
Will send you an email
Adrian Swinscoe´s last blog ..Customer Retention: Add value by introducing your customer to another customer
Twitter: ali_davies
Great points Christine. As I read it this popped into my head:
“Life isn’t a dress rehearsal. This is the real thing”
I guess that sums it up for me. It is all about living life fully on every level and making a positive difference to the lives of others.
Ali Davies´s last blog ..3 Tips to Manage Impact of Business on Family Life
Absolutely, Ali. This IS the real thing.
And, I like your words here: “It is all about living life fully on every level and making a positive difference to the lives of others.” Amen to that!
Beautifully said Christine. I really having got anything else to add … spot on!
Jen´s last blog ..Taking the Leap to Reach My Dreams
Thanks for saying that, Jen. Coming from yourself, that means a lot to me. Have a wonderful weekend.
Twitter: leesshizzle
I like the idea of contentment, ‘sitting in a coffee shop or in my case on a river bank, pole in hand toes in the sand… enjoying the existence of life outside of work..
I always said I wanted to retire at 40 not when I’m too old to enjoy it or ready to kick the bucket
Thanks Christine
Lees Shizzle´s last blog ..Always Check your Childs Homework
Isn’t that kind of experience just the essence of life, Lee? I can so imagine you sitting there just being a peace with chilling out!
If 40′s your dream, why not. And, playing devils advocate, if you find the way to work that really really lights your fire, why wouldn’t you do it longer? Just wonderin’…..
Twitter: HeavenandEl
That’s what I was thinking as I read Lee’s comment about wanting to retire at 40. I’ve found my dream job, I just don’t get any money for it yet so (in my ‘realistic’ husband’s eyes at least) it doesn’t really count. Twelve months from now I hope to be in a position to take a small salary which will add validity to what I’m doing. Being in a position to get paid for doing something I absolutely adore, why would I want to retire?!
Eleanor Edwards´s last blog ..Friday Friends: From Geek to The Helping Guy #FF @6aliens
Interesting one, Eleanor. I do think there’s a view that if we don’t (or don’t immediately) get paid for doing something we love it can’t be a valid vocational pursuit. I’m currently marinading some thoughts on doing what we love, and earning money, and whether these are the same or not. Might be tempted to write something about this….
All prompted by Lee’s comment here!
Twitter: HeavenandEl
It’s a difficult one to balance I suspect. I know I’m extremely fortunate to be able to do what I love for zero money and that’s thanks to my husband. He’s the one stuck in the 40 hour week doing something he tolerates. I do some teaching but our priority has always been for me to be at home with the children as much as possible.
But being a mum at home with the children has always brought into question what you’re talking about. I remember being stopped in town by a man doing a questionnaire when I was shopping with a couple of my children. I answered his questions and when he asked about work I told him that I taught a little but the children were my main job. He asked me what I did for a proper job!!
I have nothing to base this on other than the thoughts in my head (:roll:) but I suspect that part of the problem is that we are conditioned by society to believe that people’s value should be measured by how much money they have. Bit rubbish really but I like to think that times they are achanging. That could be wild optimism but I live in hope
Eleanor Edwards´s last blog ..The Give A Brick Big Audio Challenge – video!
I tend to agree with your point, Eleanor, about being conditioned that people’s value is measured by how much money they have, or, indeed earn. It’s so marginalising of people who add huge value to our society in ways that are paid little or nothing. There’s definitely a part of society that thinks differently. I think we’re part of it!
Christine, thanks for sharing your blog with me. I can feel the joy you are feeling by writing the blog. Seems to me you found a nitch that shows you are modeling what you are talkling about. I think it is great that you can share so freely with no worries about whether this stuff is professional enough or business enough. It’s just sharing what is true and real for you and what really works for people inside and outside of organizations. Oh, it doesn’t hurt that there happens to be a lot of research backing this kind of thing up now as well. Looking at references on the Positive Organizational Scholarship website (http://www.bus.umich.edu/Positive/) there are a number of articles that show the research backing many of the things you have shared. Amy Wrzesniewski has done a great deal of work around understanding people who consider their work a calling, a career or a job and what the differences are. Thanks again for your great work.
Shawn!!
How awesome to see you here and thanks so much for commenting. Feel free to swing by whenever you want. Just sorry I can’t offer coffee!
Yes, I do feel like I’ve found a niche here – or perhaps more accurately it found me! Thanks for reflecting that back to me.
Thanks too for sharing the University of Michigan Positive Organizational Scholarship link – I think a lot of the people that hang out on this blog will find that a wonderful resource. Particularly in the context of this post.
Take care for now.
Hey Christine,
You are talking to a converted/converting person and am glad to see a link to Michigan pop up. I’m feeling quite challenged by some of the material in the last couple of weeks and it is really making me consider some radical changes and look within to work out what I’m up to at the moment and work out what direction to go in.
Thanks also to Ali, sometimes I think I need a bit of a reminder of that. It can be so easy when you get caught up in things (whatever that general term is) that you can put things (there I said it again) off till tomorrow.
Finding the balance between action and non-action I still feel very unsure of.
The idea that work should be a joyful place was really bought home to me yday in the office. When I was described as the only one happy person in the office. It was something that I felt proud to have been recognised but also sad that my boss clearly didn’t feel happy to be or perhaps even be around. That it was almost seen as abnormal, shook me a bit. I actually thought to myself well it is a real challenge to remain in a more positive place, sometimes I don’t always feel that way and it actually takes some hard work with regular focus to maintain a more positive outlook.
This conversation has really led me to wonder just how messed up work environments can be. I wonder if I would be better to leave and search for some place with a better environment or whether it’s better to stay and just maintain my own way in spite of some of the others around me. I wonder how many work environments exist out there that really are built on these principles….
It’s a crazy world we live in.
A crazy world indeed, Tim.
I share your sadness that you’ve been recognised as the only happy person in your office. And yet, it a positive sense, what a compliment.
I wonder if your biggest struggle with these guys is about not taking on their shit? Do you see their craziness as being some reflection of you? What would hook you to do that? Just a thought…
Have a good weekend, Tim.
Hi Again,
Yes I really felt that the happy comment was a big compliment and made me more aware of my positive focus and energy that this brings to my team.
I have really been feeling the daily struggle not to take on the craziness of the office. I’m wondering a lot about the reflection of me in it.
I have a horrible feeling its an old pattern setup from family life… I’m pretty sure it’s about pleasing other people in order to feel good about myself, rather than just believing that I’m good enough as I am. The other striking thing about all this, is that it seems outdated and something that has passed. A lot of this seems to be about giving myself permission to live more of my life from a place that is defined by me. A place that is naturally more joyful and fun.
The battle is one of maintenance and having just read Ben’s Guest Blog, I like the idea of just not bothering about other people some of the time and being more focussed on what works for me.
This has been quite a few days of digesting all this, thanks again.
Ah, the old “I’m OK if….” thing?! Well done you for hanging in with it and understanding that you don’t need to put conditions on yourself. You are OK just as you are.
Isn’t it interesting how apparently small things – like the happy comment – can lead to such personal insight and growth?
And, thank you, for sharing this here. I value that you are able to be so open about your process. I’m sure others can learn from it.
Hey Christine,
Well I’m coming to the conclusion that there are so many of these comments out there waiting to be heard and learnt from. I know with me it has been about clearing the personal space to open my ears and hear things more clearly.
It’s no problem sharing things on here, I have a sense that a lot of the people who are reading will have a good understanding of their own process and I’m ok anyway !
Now I need to get back to your first manifesto post as I had some thoughts, I will catch up with that soon.
Thanks again, Tim.
I think you’re right about the comments. I feel so privileged that people share what they do here. It’s always such an honour to read and respond.
And I look forward to hearing what you’ve got to say about the first manifesto post whenever you are ready to share
Twitter: HeavenandEl
Like Jen expressed, I have nothing to add (other than agreeing with what you said to Lee of course
) but the joy did leap off the screen at me. I can tell you enjoyed writing this and it was a dream to read. I’m sitting here with a smile on my face. 
Eleanor Edwards´s last blog ..Friday Friends: From Geek to The Helping Guy #FF @6aliens
I’m happy for that, Eleanor
Yes, I SO enjoyed writing this. It kind of flew off the keyboard!!
One of my friends works for himself, as do I. He describes his breaks as board meetings. I thought that didn’t really fit with what he was talking about with the type of work that he did as a freelance animator and web designer, but then I realised he meant he was off for a surf in his lunch time! He’s one of the happiest people I know.
That’s a terrific one, Karalyn! I just love it.
It reminds me of a friend I had in Glasgow, whose husband used to come home late from work some evenings saying that he’d been in “the office”. Only sometime later did she understand that “The Office” was actually a pub enroute!
Connection and meaning are so important. Primary driving force behind a lot of decision making, especially when talking about solopreneurs.
Nathan Hangen – Digital Emperor´s last blog ..How to JV Your Way to Success
Agreed, Nathan. For me, I have to feel a sense of purpose in my work. It’s what gets me up in the morning and keeps me going, even when faced with could be seen as challenges or difficulties. Connection allows me to feel I’m not alone and that what I do is done in the context of a wider community of people. Vital aspects of the whole solopreneur lifestyle.