Today I’m delighted to welcome Linda Wolf. Linda writes Insanely Serene, a blog devoted to her passion for peace of mind and serenity. Through her blog, she offers practical suggestions for moving from low self-esteem to powerful self-confidence, carved from honest and touching reference to her own, real experiences. Here she shares how personal crisis and search for meaning alchemized her own Different Kind of Work.
I love Christine’s blog for her amazing writing, and for the ideas she presents about the possibilities for stepping outside our family and societal expectations to find the work we love. I’m inspired by her work and am honored to be a part of her series on how others have found their way to express their purpose in life. Here is a little bit of my story.
I am a quiet non-conformist. Reserved by nature, I was a sensitive child and shy young adult. I appeared to be following the path laid out by generations of my hard-working family with its immigrant roots in early 20th century America: Get a good education, a respectable job/career, marry, have children, buy a home, save for retirement. I went to college and later earned a graduate degree, built a career in communications, and got engaged to a research scientist. Textbook, huh?
But wait! (Sound of needle on record album screeching to a halt.) From the beginning there were signs of unrest. As a kid, I withdrew into books and stories when I didn’t like the reality around me. I did not fit in to any of the accepted crowds in high school. I refused to cover up unpleasantness in my family, insisting on speaking up for truth. And I didn’t have a path. I felt the pressure of family expectations for success, but I did not know what I wanted to do or where I wanted to end up.
A Different Kind of Inner Work
Several factors combined to lead me in the direction of a different kind of inner work. As a youth, I felt that something was wrong, but I could not articulate what. Though there was much chaos, I also saw around me adults who modeled the behavior of seeking help and balance – never giving up on the idea of feeling better, despite the crush of difficulties in life.
Thus, my inner uneasiness joined forces with a drive to feel better – to seek resources at every turn, to be willing to try new things – anything to get out of depression and into feeling happier.
Seeking turned into a lifelong pattern. At the point of my engagement, I had finally broken free of depression, but I was lying to myself to be safe, not in love, in my relationship.
A crisis led me to break off the engagement and focus intense energy on myself. I had to dig out all of my character flaws, face them, and let them go. In the process, I got to really know myself – the person underneath all the societal pressures. And I discovered the joy of emotional and spiritual freedom that comes from self-honesty and taking responsibility for my life.
A Different Kind of Life Path
Although as a young adult I didn’t have a clear idea for my occupation, I did eventually find my way to my ideal skill set – communications, specifically writing. I built a career in writing within my field of interest – science and health. I was lucky enough to get dream jobs at environmental organizations, science museums, and communications agencies. For a long time I was satisfied with my professional track.
Over the last few years, however, I started to feel a tickle in the back of my mind…there was something more I wanted to do. I didn’t know exactly what, but it had to do with writing, and it had to do with the work I’d done getting to know myself. And I knew it meant stepping off the traditional path.
Being a cautious person, it’s taken me a long time to evolve this new direction. For a few years, all I did was think about it (as in, “I’d like to retire so I can do whatever I want to with my time!”). I got some clarity around wanting to do my own writing. For the next couple of years, I evolved a plan to transition from a full-time job to a schedule that would allow big chunks of time for writing.
For the last two years, I’ve been able to manage a schedule of part-time work and time devoted to my writing – and what I’m going to do with it. I’m stepping outside the norm. I’m learning that the most important thing is what I think, not what I think others think. It’s about having confidence in my inner voice, whether for my personal growth or my professional path.
Even with all this searching, I don’t know my final destination. But if I listen to my insides, I believe I’m on the right track; and I know these things:
- I love to write and I’m good at it.
- I have a passion for peace of mind – and for using personal development tools to keep my serenity in all situations that life throws at me.
- I want to share my knowledge – how I’ve become my best self – because it helps me continue my inner work.
- I love helping others find their way to their true selves.
My blog is a first step toward helping others. For the future, I have dreams of possibly publishing a book, teaching workshops, and working with individuals and groups. I will continue down my path, without knowing where it ends, because for now, it feels right. I trust the unfolding process and that I’ll know the next step when it’s time.
I welcome any suggestions from you, and would love to hear a little of your journey toward a different kind of work.
To get Linda’s updates, why not subscribe to her RSS Feed? Or follow her on Twitter. 
Twitter: CubeRules
says:
“I had to dig out all of my character flaws, face them, and let them go. In the process, I got to really know myself – the person underneath all the societal pressures. And I discovered the joy of emotional and spiritual freedom that comes from self-honesty and taking responsibility for my life.”
And how did you do that?
(Thanks for sharing this — a very insightful post).
.-= Scot Herrick´s last blog ..Sharing Sunday, April 11, 2010 =-.
Scot,
Thank you so much for coming by and commenting. The answer to your question is a long one, and could be a book in itself. I found a set of tools and I worked them hard for years, including a very thorough assessment of my flaws and assets. It was painful, but I got to see the patterns I’d developed that were originally coping mechanisms for surviving life that became obstacles. I had to learn new ways of behaving, which took a lot of trial and error. I had to get humble, and admit I did not have the right way to do everything, and be willing to be open to other ideas.
Linda
.-= Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene)´s last blog ..Do You Praise Yourself Enough? – Guest Post =-.
Good to see you, Scot and nice question!
Linda, I’m fascinated to hear about the set of tools. Anything you can share here? Maybe you SHOULD be writing a book on this!
Christine,
Thank you so much for the opportunity to guest post at A Different Kind of Work. I am honored and look forward to talking with your readers.
Linda
.-= Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene)´s last blog ..Do You Praise Yourself Enough? – Guest Post =-.
Lovely to have you here, Linda. I hope we get some good conversation here today with this post!
Yes, me too. I put up a little blurb on Insanely Serene as well!
.-= Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene)´s last blog ..Do You Praise Yourself Enough? – Guest Post =-.
Twitter: HeavenandEl
says:
Wow Linda. You were very brave. This society sort of sucks us into believing that hard work in a 40 hour per week fixed location employment is the done thing. I love meeting people who have broken free of that. Christine is right too. The way you weave your life story together is beautiful.
.-= Eleanor Edwards´s last blog ..A revelation, a wishlist and a cry for help =-.
Hey, good to see you, Eleanor. You’re so right about that unconscious, fixed mindset about work that society has craftily created for us. Linda’s example of deciding what work means for her is excellent.
Eleanor,
Thank you very much. I am brave, but like I said, a cautious risk-taker. That said, it still feels like jumping off a cliff! This week I’ve left my part-time job to work with my partner’s entrepeneurial effort. While it’s been a slow and steady shift toward this, and our dreams together, it’s still a massive change, for me, in my lifestyle. But I have enough faith in myself and knowledge that past efforts have worked out to trust that I’ll be ok no matter what, whether it works out the way I imagine and hope, or some other way. I have myself, I have my skills, I have a connection to the universe (God, love, whatever you want to call it). I’m so glad you stopped by and hope you are finding your way to your dreams as well.
Best,
Linda
.-= Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene)´s last blog ..Do You Praise Yourself Enough? – Guest Post =-.
Hi Linda,
It’s very inspiring to read and for me great timing as I have been doing a lot of work on understanding myself over the last few yrs. I’m feeling like I’m getting to a point where I will need to really go in a new direction. It’s nice to hear some wisdom on this as sometimes it can be a bit daunting, but managing to get ‘back to basics’ of what you are good at and what your underlying motivations/drives and interests are make it nice and simple. Thanks for sharing your story.
Tim,
Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful comments. I’m so glad to hear you are working on your own new direction, and I relate to the “daunting” feeling. Something that helped me with that was the idea of doing one thing at a time toward my goal. I don’t have to get it all done today, I can just make a phone call, do a reading, talk to someone, just move the process forward one little step, and count that as progress. It feels a lot better than thinking I had to do it all perfectly right now!
Linda
.-= Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene)´s last blog ..Do You Praise Yourself Enough? – Guest Post =-.
Linda,
How nice of Chrissy to host you on her blog. Welcome to the party.
Glad to know about your life’s journey, but I am not at all surprised, because I have been reading your blog on a regular basis.
I think you have had your fair share of ups and downs in life. Me too. Sometimes, I find it hard to motivate myself for the curve balls that life throws at us. There are so many challenges in life.
Mercifully, three strikes and you are out is not the way life works.
You can always pick yourself up and get back in the game even if you find yourself in the dust. And that is something to feel optimistic about. I feel we can evolve in consciousness.
Even so, let me recommend a poem that changed my life. The poem is by Rudyard Kipling, who won the Nobel-Prize in Literature. It is a poem with a simple title, namely, “If.”
It would be helpful to you, folks, if you keep this gem of wisdom with you at all times. Stick it on your fridge, keep a copy in your purse or wallet, etc. It is an amazing poem. Wow!
Never read anything like it as far as motivation is concerned. And it is right up your alley because I know the kind of work you pursue. Cheers! And have a wonderful day; thanks for writing.
Archan,
Thank you very much for your insightful comments, as always. A friend of mine is also a fan of “If,” as a touchstone in her life. For those unfamiliar with it, here are the first few lines:
“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too…”
You’re right, it’s a poem about staying centered in yourself no matter what is going on around you. It is a skill worth learning, and worth the work to get there.
As you say, it’s about keeping on going – persistence, doggedness, tenacity, never giving up on yourself.
Cheers to you, too, Archan.
Thanks for your support.
Linda
.-= Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene)´s last blog ..Do You Praise Yourself Enough? – Guest Post =-.
hi linda
how are you?
thanks for sharing this.
it’s inspiring to read about how you’ve made progress, choices, decisions and taken difficult steps in order to give your life true meaning. many times we live in self denial and as you’ve mentioned we can discover the joy of emotional and spiritual freedom that comes from self-honesty and taking responsibility for our lives. i think our authenticity evolves from such actions.
take care
@ christine
hi christine,
how are you?
hope you enjoyed the sun today.
thanks for creating a platform for bloggers to express themselves on your blog.
take care and have a nice week.
.-= ayo´s last blog ..The Third Edition Of The Life Skills Magazine Is Out Now!!! =-.
Hi Ayo,
I’m doing well, thanks, big changes in my life, a little scary, all good. A new chapter, and I’m in for the ride!
I’m fascinated by the ways that people recognize and break through denial – which is an important coping mechanism in itself. Denial protects us from knowledge too painful and difficult to bear. We can break through when we have enough strength, or faith, to handle the consequences of facing reality. What makes some people break through and others stay in denial all their lives? I’d love to read a book on that question – or write one! Boy, lots of book ideas here today.
Linda
.-= Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene)´s last blog ..Do You Praise Yourself Enough? – Guest Post =-.
Thanks, Ayo, for dropping by. Wasn’t the sunshine beautiful?
I’m happy that you found Linda’s post inspiring. You make a great point that our authenticity evolves from self-honesty and taking responsibility for our lives. I like that. Glad, too, that you’re enjoying this evolving platform for people to share stuff. My picture for now is to invite people to express through a post what “A Different Kind of Work” uniquely means to them. The world of work is changing and we are changing it by changing ourselves!
How great to learn more about your journey Linda. What particularly stuck out for me about this post is your willingness to step int the unknown and let the process unfold.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Downshifting you =-.
Thanks, Jen, it’s certainly a challenge for me. These days, I do meet my challenges head on, I’ve managed to eradicate procrastination from my life as well. Doesn’t mean I don’t have fear – but I have enough faith to combat it. I love the saying, “Courage is fear that has said its prayers.” So glad to see you here. -Linda
.-= Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene)´s last blog ..Deviation from the Norm: My Guest Post on A Different Kind of Work =-.
Twitter: lionslinger
says:
Take the first step and the next will be revealed. You will face many challenges along the way but I believe you will achieve what you aspire. Just do what you want to do and be not afraid of uncertainty.
.-= Walter´s last blog ..The caveats of blogging =-.
Thanks for your as ever insightful comment, Walter. It’s amazing how few people have the courage to take the kind of emergent process you’re talking about, fearing that they’ll lose control in the process. Paradoxically, they have to give over some control if they are to make the most of a creative journey into discovering who they really are and what it is they really should be doing with their lives.
Twitter: leesshizzle
says:
Do you call this brave or just living? I’m really curious, not being sarcastic. Why don’t ppl follow these examples and go for it? Are we too much in the norm…. gotta do what my dad,mom, did kinda thing.. I mean your writing must be doing something for you Linda but really lacks the curve here..
Did I say chaotic…….or am I just trying to create
mmmm..whhawwhh
.-= Lees Shizzle´s last blog ..Time to get off the puter and go Shopping….wanna come, you can…let me rub it =-.