It was Cali Williams Yost across at Work+Life Fit who inspired me to go see Up in the Air recently. Even so, I hadn’t expected there to have been quite so much rich material for my New Work Pioneer thinking as I found.
I hope you’ve seen the film – if not, you must! Meantime, what I’d like to do is give the headlines of the story, share some of the key themes that emerged for me, and leave you with a few pertinent coaching questions to mull over.
The story
It’s the tale of the suave and charismatic Ryan Bingham. Impeccably played by George Clooney – but let me not mess up my post by drooling over him too much! His character is a stereotypical road-runner, who works 24/7, firing people for a living and delivering motivational seminars advocating his own commitment-free lifestyle.
“Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.”
But he is about to be grounded. Having taken the advice of a young MBA, his company is re-designing his job to enable Termination Engineers (another strategic HR initiative, perhaps?) to sack people remotely. This, just at a time when he has begun a romantic alliance with Alex Goran, a high-achieving woman who crosses the map just as regularly as he does. Together, they compare travel schedules and polish their badges of success: frequent flyer mile counts; collections of premiere credit cards; priority customer service entitlements.
As they spend more time together, including at his sister’s wedding, Goran clearly pierces Bingham’s once invincible shield. We see him, captured by a burst of spontaneity, fly to Chicago. His intention is to surprise Alex, but he ends up being the surprised one. For there he finds her, complete with husband and children, and struggles to comprehend that her picture of their relationship has not been his.
The scenario provokes a call to action in him, but the film ends without us knowing how he’s going to respond.
Food for thought
Work as an escape
At the beginning of the film Bingham’s lifestyle is portrayed as one to which we all might aspire. He’s sleek, he’s polished, he wants materially for nothing. Who wouldn’t be him?
It’s only as the film unravels that we get a glimpse of the challenges that exist in his personal life, that his full-on identification with work allows him to avoid.
Work as a relationship over which we have some control
Bingham is arrogantly single. The most intimate we see him being initially is when he’s feigning concern for the people he’s firing. We might even covet his calmness.
But the sterility of his life unfolds with the film. He talks of feeling at home in the recycled air, artificial lighting, digital juice dispensers and cheap sushi that define his nomadic existence. Somehow we understand that he feels safer in accepting these impersonal, even toxic, forms of nourishment, than he would risking a real, human connection.
Work gives him a sense of competence and mastery that perhaps relationships don’t. And I wondered how true that might be of us?
The importance of external validation
Bingham’s sense of his importance is, at least to begin with, driven by stuff outside of him, the most significant being his goal of attaining 10 million frequent flyer miles. And I wondered how many of us use arbitrary measures beyond ourselves, both to drive us and to give us some sense of our worth? Job grades, cubicle sizes, our peers and others’ evaluation of us.
By the end of the film, we see him achieve his ambition, but already doubt its value. Indeed, he’s calling the airline, to arrange for points to be transferred, allowing his sister and her new husband the round the world honeymoon trip of which they can only dream.
The challenge of accepting the call to action
As I said, at the end of the film, Ryan is clearly left pondering the question of what he’s going to do with his life. The jury is clearly out. Meantime, the film revisits people whose lives Bingham earlier wrecked by making them redundant. It’s clear that they have used their crisis as a turning point, and have transformed their attitudes to both work and life.
How many of us too hear the deep down question, “Is this it?” but choose not to listen or to take some kind of half-hearted action?
Coaching questions
- What call to action is your working life currently presenting? How are you planning to respond to it?
- Have you ever glamorized work for yourself in any way? If so, how and for what purpose?
- Has work ever been a hiding place for you? If so how? Who and what were you hiding from?
- How would you define your relationship with work? Is work a substitute for, competitor of, or healthy and necessary companion to other vital relationships in your life?
- What and who outside of yourself give you a sense of meaning and identity? How happy are your that this is so?
As you will have guessed, I loved this film and hope it gets an Oscar. How about you? What did you take from it, and how did you relate it to your own work and life style?
Loved this film too Christine..so many layers to it and obviously George Clooney helps too!
beautiful post Christine which articulates the film and the questions it raises very well. In answer to your questions…the main thing I feel is on my agenda around work is the call to action to raise my game around providing coaching + mentoring as my main job. Also I feel I am getting clearer around my legacy and my mission recently…kinda feel on thew edge of a precipice (in a good way!) Like I’m finally getting clear on my purpose. Thanks for another awesome post.
Wasn’t the film just divine!
I’m really excited for where you are with your coaching and mentoring practice at the moment. It really does feel that you are on the edge of a new precipice! It’s fabulous to watch you do this and, indeed, share it so openly. Thank you Jen for that
Twitter: diary4life
says:
Christine,
I’ve not seen the film but all the same the post clearly explains what is an everyday work situation for some.
The coaching questions at the end are really powerful. I’ve not worked for anybody for a number of years now but they would certainly have challenged me, if I’d been asked them at the time I was.
In fact, if I was to be honest, I found them challenging just reading them.
Thank you for sharing.
Regards
Paul
Hi Paul, thanks for your thoughtful comment.
I’m glad that you found some challenge in the questions. Even as coaches who are well down the path of doing work that aligns with who we are, it never does any harm to check in on that kind of stuff from time to time, right?
Take care for now!
Lovely post Christine
I’ve not seen the film yet but will definitely get some time to see it.
We watched Click the other night which is a film as rich in lessons on the work – life balance. Adam Sandler, in an attempt to skip the awkward or tedious parts of life, fast forwards through them with a special remote. Over time as he skips more the remote begins to automatically fast forward through parts of his life. He ends up missing all of the important and fulfilling aspects of his life. I think we’re all guilty of that at times.
Thanks for the film recommendation.
Thanks, Ben. I haven’t seen Click, but that sounds like another to go see?
I imagine there would be those who’d think it possible to get the learnings of life without having to experience the difficulties. But as Click – and indeed Up in the Air – portray so well, it’s only often by having the experience that we can “get” the learnings in any felt and embodied sense. Indeed sometimes we need to have the experience before we’re going to pay any attention at all.
Take care for now, Ben.
Hi Christine,
Yep it’s a great movie and reminded me of past conversations with you. I love that it’s open ended, perhaps an invitation to it’s viewers to ask themselves some questions.
The last question that you pose has massive relevance to a lot of thoughts that I have recently been having.
To have the idea laid out in front of me that it’s much easier to get involved/addicted to work/brand/lifestyle or even something as emotionless as frequent flyer point’s shows how strange some things have become. Particularly as I was checking myself and initially admired the gloss and glamour of George Clooney playing this seemingly Uber cool guy.
I also noticed at the same time how empty it all felt and how strange it all was. I guess that was a great signpost to show me that I’m making progress with my relationships and losing some ‘modern’ sensibilities and addictions to certain kinds of lifestyle to reconnect with a different part of myself. One that feels a lot more ancient and timeless. This in turn has also been leading me to get involved with people and the world around me in a more profound way.
That is not to say that modern life is rubbish, just as a retention marketer, I know how these loyalty schemes work and what they are playing on in peoples psyche. This then of course leads me directly to the first question you pose…
I will keep you updated on what happens next, that is quite enough from me today
Thanks for such a thought provoking piece.
Hi Tim,
Phenomenal comment and thanks for sharing so much of yourself here! I’m glad you took so much from the post.
I was struck by what you said about connecting with a different part of yourself, “One that feels a lot more ancient and timeless”, and had a sense of a deep, inherent wisdom that’s seeking a place in you?
I’m intrigued to see what happens from here for you.
Take care for now.
Twitter: diary4life
says:
Christine,
I posted an article about Coaching Development, it was written by Kris Robertson from The Coaching Academy, you might like to read it. http://www.diary4life.com/coaching-development/
I saw the film Ben is referring to and I too can recommend it for two reasons, 1) the lessons of work-life balance Ben refers to, 2) I think it’s one of Ben Sandler’s better film, very funny.
Regards
Paul
Thanks, Paul.
That is an interesting article. I’m not familiar with Kris, or with The Coaching Academy, but I agree that coaching supervision – or whatever one chooses to call it – is an invaluable support.
And, with another endorsement for Click, I think that film had better get onto my “must see” list !!
Best wishes
Christine
Twitter: bobbessette
says:
Hi Christine,
First of all, I did not see the film but it sounds interesting. One thing, first off, you have missed your calling as a movie reviewer. Consider starting a movie review blog because you are great at it!
The call to action that my current working life is presenting is the desire to eventually move away from it on a full-time basis. I want to create my own work environment and possibly be able to be independent, at least on a part-time basis. By the way, have to patented the “New Work Pioneer” phrase yet? You should.
As far as external validation is concerned, all I really care about it my paycheck. I work with some people who have nice offices, a bunch of people working for them, but I make more money. I work for the money even though I also think it is interesting.
I now have to see this movie…
Best,
Bob
Hi Bob,
Yeah, I suspect you’d like the move, Bob, and thanks for the compliments about the debut to my movie reviewing career!!
I’m interested to hear your current call to action being to eventually work independently. Will blogging play a part in your independent picture? Whatever it looks like, I’m going to be interested to see how things develop for you.
Glad that your primary source of validation in your job is your paycheck. I chuckled at the thought of those other guys sweating over their nice offices and big teams, meanwhile you’re taking more money home than them. Brilliant!
And, no, I hadn’t thought of patenting the New Work Pioneer phrase. That needs a bit of investigation, I think….
BTW, I’ve been taking on board some of your feedback re the look of the blog and saw some designs at the weekend for how it might look when I change my banner and move it to Headway. There’s still work to do, but it’s getting there. When it’s a bit further along, I might run it past you?
Best wishes
Christine
Twitter: bobbessette
says:
Christine,
I look forward to the changes and would be willing to give my opinion. I have no problems doing that…
Yes, I am certainly hoping that blogging will play a part in that future independence. At a minimum, freelance writing. What I like about freelance writing is that I can use it now to supplement my income and going forward maybe it can become more prominent.
I also have someone that could help you on a new banner. I used her and she is very reasonable. Let me know if you want her email and she also has a web address with her work.
Best,
Bob
Thanks, Bob, I’d appreciate that. It’ll probably take a couple of weeks.
And, wow, freelance writing. I hadn’t thought of that as a route. That’s fantastic! And you write well, so I can well understand your taking that direction.
Thanks for the offer of a referral for a designer. However, I’ve already been working with someone and have the makings of something. I think it’s about how to tweak the site to work with it from a design point of view now. Nevertheless, always good to know you’ve got someone you’d recommend – if not for me, then perhaps for anyone else reading?!
All the best for now, Bob.
Twitter: marcwinitz
says:
Hi Christine – I haven’t seen the film but it sounds like something George Clooney likes to play: a topical part that reflects where society currently is (oh, and stop drooling over him)…I found your questions at the end of the post probably the most interesting part. I have no immediate answers but you have caused me to start pondering them – thanks.
LOL!! Sorry about the drooling
Seriously, I’m glad to hear the questions gave you some food for thought. Happy pondering!