How to stay in your current job AND enjoy it!

October 12, 2009 by 8 Comments

j0341711This is the third in an occasional series of posts for people in corporate jobs. During the series I’ll be talking about some of the challenges you face in the current economic environment, and giving you some pointers for dealing with them in ways that allow you a more positive and life-sustaining experience.

This post is for people staying put in jobs they’d really rather be leaving. How do you turn a potentially dispiriting experience into something you can gain from?

  • Make a positive choice to stay It may seem like you have no choice at the moment, but really you do. Instead of being an unwitting victim to circumstances, make the decision to commit to your current job. Focussing on what you don’t want, just takes you down into a spiral of depression and negativity. Instead, switch your focus and list off all the positive reasons you’re staying in your current role. Money is likely to be one; relative safety and security is another. If you’re thinking of working for yourself in the future, you may have decided that staying in employment for now buys you time to better develop your business model. If it really is the best option to stay right now, accept that with grace rather than gut-rotting contempt.
  • Set yourself goals on what you can achieve by staying
    Think about your hopes and dreams for your life beyond this role. What things would you like to add to your CV or to your skill set that would put you in a better state of readiness to achieve them? Rather than flounder aimlessly at work, get resourceful and make a plan to develop yourself whilst still doing what you do. So for instance, instead of looking at new assignments that come along as extra work, think about how they will stretch you in a way that might actually be to your advantage. And if you can’t see opportunities immediately around you, get your head off your desk and look beyond you. Go after things that’ll add to your personal portfolio. Rather than feeling resentful about giving your current employer more of your precious time, you’ll feel energised because you’re doing something for yourself.
  • Stop hating the people you work withYour boss may well be a complete tosser, but the more you allow him or her to wind you up, the more tired, exhausted and, frankly, hateful, you will become. Realise that ugly feelings only damage you and let them go. If you really want to challenge yourself, set yourself the goal of learning how to deal with people you find difficult. It’ll be enormously beneficial for you in your present job and set you up well for all kinds of work and life challenges in the future.
  • Maximise travel time If part of the thing you’d really prefer to escape from is a lengthy commute, consider how you can maximise this time. Could you listen to MP3 files on topics that help to take you forward? If you travel by train or underground, are there books or papers you could read to the same end?Does work often take you away from home? Rather than feel you must switch off from thinking about or developing yourself for the future, take your pc, a book or some papers with you – whatever you need to ensure you don’t neglect that self-supporting part of you.
  • Find something soulful to do outside of work It can be difficult to nurture your soul in a deathly job, so make sure you give it space beyond the cubicle. Drawing, painting, writing, blogging, spending time with loved ones, walking in nature, doing yoga or meditation: these are all things that can bring your spirit alive. And, let’s face it, in a scenario where you may be challenged daily to keep your outlook positive, you need to make sure you’ve got good, positive energy to draw on.These are all ideas that have worked for me and some of the people I coach. But what works for you?
Filed Under: Corporate jobs, Thriving @ work Tagged With: , ,

How to be Rich and Happy: a book review

October 4, 2009 by 5 Comments

BookCover-1As John P Strelecky and Tim Brownson’s How to be Rich and Happy hits the e-shelves this week, I’m curious to see if the book delivers on the promise of its bold headline title.

Leaping into it, I quickly discover that, if a personal development book is a journey, this one’s more a round the world ticket than a domestic flight. Which is to say that it’s ambitious, covering as it does some significant ground. Some of the territory immediately leaps out at me:

  • Identifying your values and beliefs
  • Developing a positive outlook on life
  • Figuring your big five “must do’s” for life
  • Unearthing your attitudes to money
  • Using the power of your mind to get what you want, and
  • Learning to quit things that get in the way of your achieving your Rich and Happy life

Just as well I’ve packed a toothbrush!

“if a personal development book is a journey, this one’s more a round the world ticket than  a domestic flight”

One of the things I enjoy immediately is the book’s engaging style. I am uplifted by its colours and its beautiful production. I realise after a few pages that I’ve come to it expecting to be taught to or preached at, but I like that there’s no guru stuff here; no didacticism or evangelism. Instead there’s a down to earth quality that makes me feel I’m having a conversation with an old and trusted friend. That reassures me that I’m okay and that what I dream of is possible.

But I can’t help asking, “where’s the magic?”

As a reviewer, I’ve begun reading with a critical eye having decided that, in the interests of speed and efficiency, I’ll skip the exercises and breeze on through. After all, I tell myself, I’m a coach; I’ve done this kind of stuff many times before.

A couple of days into reading, however, a personal challenge to my own Rich and Happy life arises. A lucrative and prestigious piece of corporate consulting work crosses my desk. It pays well and I’m incredibly flattered, but it demands I be away from home and on-site for 5 days a week – something I haven’t done for several years. Can I say “yes” to the work and maintain my ambitions for developing the kind of location independent business I’ve set my sights on? Can I do it and continue to be a voice for working in life-loving ways?

I’ve said no to such prospects before: what’s upsetting me about this one?

“this is less a book and more a process for unleashing real change in your life”

That’s when I wonder how it might be if I follow How to be Rich and Happy as a reader and not a critic. There’s a brilliant exercise in the book about values that I now turn back to. Far from recapping work I’ve done before it’s an eye-opener, as values I’ve conveniently forgotten about get into my top eight: creativity; authenticity, beauty, integrity, love…

I write a plan of what my week looks like when I allow myself to live from my values. On top of this blueprint, I overlay how my week might look if I do the consulting work. It becomes a complete no-brainer that I have to say no to the project.

And suddenly not only is that clear, but the book has taken on another dimension for me. I forget for now being a reviewer, and put my heart into each of the exercises that follow. Later in the book I come to understand that the attractive consulting job offer has been a test to see whether I’ve really learned some recent lessons or not.

I finish the book feeling that I’ve done a week’s retreat.

I’m feeling clear, inspired, confident. I have not just the pictures of where the book has taken me, but a solid vision of where I’m heading next and the outlook to do it.

Because I get so much from the book, I wish that some of the exercises have more structure. I’ve printed off the ones that had little forms to complete and am carrying them around in a notebook that has become a sort of Travel Journal as I’ve ventured through the chapters. Maybe the guys will consider following up with a workbook? I’ll then look forward to doing the whole thing all over again!

Also, I know the book has been criticised for its price. $97 is a lot of money. But in truth, as I’ve understood from the start, this is less a book and more a process for unleashing real change in your life. So I really get why the authors place this value on their work. Forking out means you’ve already committed to invest in yourself and make it work for you. As I discovered, add this ingredient, and the alchemy comes into its own.

Note: After this post was written, Tim and John decided to reduce the price of their book from $97 to $47.

Filed Under: Self Development, Work and life Tagged With: , , ,

How to tackle a workaholic boss and come out winning

October 1, 2009 by 11 Comments

j04331801This is the second in an occasional series of posts for people in corporate jobs. During the series I’ll be talking about some of the challenges you face in the current economic environment, and giving you some pointers for dealing with them in ways that allow you a more positive and life-sustaining experience.

This post is about the re-emergence of workaholic bosses: men and women in senior positions putting in all the hours as they try to prove their indispensability to their businesses.

Sadly, this kind of behaviour is endorsed by the corporate world as being okay, even positively good. But being on the receiving end of it can be tough. Workaholics can often expect you to mimic their 24/7 lifestyle and be heavily critical if you don’t. And, because their moods and attention to detail can be all over the map, they can be inconsistent in their treatment of you. It’s not atypical for a workaholic boss to parade you as the blue-eyed employee one day, and ball you out for being the weakest link the following.

If this description fits your boss, how can work with him (I’m using the masculine today) in a way that supports your well-being and protects the longevity of your employment?

Get job role clarity

With redundancies on one hand, and a need to respond to the market on the other, it’s likely that your department numbers have shrunk, but the tasks you collectively need to deliver have increased. What’s your job now? If you are unclear, write yourself a simple description of what you see as being your key tasks. Beyond that, write down what results you believe you need to deliver and by when. Then, pin your boss down for half an hour, and get his agreement that you’re focussing on what he wants you to focus on. In a world of shifting goal posts, you’ll thank me for having taken this step.

Make your boss manage

When the pressure’s on and you start to panic that you’re not going to be able to do all that’s expected of you, you need to take your concern to your boss and let him make the decision on what gets priority. “We agreed that my task was to follow up with the people who responded to our email campaign. Now you’re telling me to run focus groups. I cannot do both in the time you’re setting. Which one do you want me to do?”

You can use a similar approach for something that he’s delegated to you as a sure fire success, but you can see is failing. Don’t wait till it fails before you say anything: take it to him, along with clear reasons for your concerns, and any ideas for changing direction and give him a “heads-up”. Then ask him what he wants you to do.

Ditto the scenario where you can’t progress one of your agreed priorities because a colleague or another department is not playing ball. Take the dilemma to him to unblock the bottle neck.

Deliver kick-ass results

This is obvious, but I’m going to say it anyway. You gain personal power, not least in your own mind, by turning in the kind of results you committed to. Commit to yourself to do the best job you can do. Just do them on your terms.

Keep a confident, assertive outlook throughout

The workaholic swings between being a spoiled child and a punishing parent. Don’t get hooked into responding to these emotional places, by making sure you stay in a grown-up, assertive place. Watch the tone and pace of your voice. Never make excuses or defend yourself. By the same token, keep your cool and don’t lose your temper with him.

Decide your own approach to working hours

You do have choice. You don’t need to be swept away in the frenzy of overtime that seems to be going on. Remember that less is more. You’ll get more done by being very focussed during the time you’re actually at work, and balancing that with time away from work, than you will by being a slave to your desk. You may decide that it would be politic to work later on a couple of evenings. That’s up to you. The point is to make sure that you’re in charge of figuring this out for yourself.

Network with other managers you respect in the business

Look out for other managers in the business whom you admire. Find ways to have them informally mentor you. Give them visibility, without being critical, of some of the challenges you face with Mr Workaholic. Ask for their coaching on key, difficult issues. Apart from allowing you to feel supported, this gives them a separate picture of you to the one your boss may paint in important management discussions.

Give more not less attention to life outside of work

When your workaholic boss is jangling your insecurities, there’s a tendency to make work the most important thing in your life. Unfortunately, this plays right into his hands, because then he’s feeding off your vulnerabilities. You hang around working hard, waiting and hoping that he’ll give you some positive recognition. You become dependent on him for feeling OK about yourself. That just reinforces his shitty behaviour.

To avoid this, do something that’s counter-intuitive and give even more attention than normal to friends, family, hobbies and interests outside of work. Ground yourself by spending time with people and things that feed and nourish you psychologically; that let you know you’re OK just as you are.

Stand firm if your boss has a hissy fit at you for not colluding with him

The challenge of not rolling over and playing dead is that it can upset your boss. For sure, what’s at the heart of the upset is that you’re questioning his implicit need for control. Don’t worry about it. That’s his issue, not yours.

He may criticise you for “not being a team player”, or for being a bit soft because you’re choosing to have a life. The bullying way he does this may make you shake in your shoes, but the trick is not to let him see he’s affecting you and stand your ground. Take everything back to your job role and deliverables and when the criticism comes look him in the eye and say, “which of my results are you unhappy with?”

Filed Under: Thriving @ work Tagged With: , , ,